my strangest escapism

(& favorite horror movies)

I think I disturbed my freshman year roommate in college. We had a typical college experience—parties, sorority, crushes, hangovers that we nursed with pedialyte but probably should have gone to the hospital for. But while she’d be listening to her pop playlist as we got ready for class, I would be in bed watching Saw IV. At some point she stopped asking questions.

The first horror movie I watched was Paranormal Activity at an 8th grade new years eve sleepover. It traumatized me. I ended up sleeping on the couch outside my parents room for two weeks after watching it, with my blanket tucked under my feet so there was no possibility for any sort of celestial being to grab my ankle and pull me into the depths of hell. I had grown up watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from as early as I could walk (my mom was whatever the opposite of a helicopter parent is) but that one scene in Paranormal Activity evoked a new terror in me I had never experienced.

Fast forward to high school, and I really can’t even remember how this tradition began, but my best friend Kyle and I began to have weekly movie dates in his mom’s basement where we would watch some horrible, bloody, grisly, gory horror movie. And I started to love them. Being the obviously uber-experienced 15-year-old movie critics that we were confident we were, we would spend the rest of the night discussing and dissecting the demonic possession, alien invasion, cabin-in-the-woods type of slaughter series of events we had just watched.

11 years later, Kyle and I still have our horror movies dates once a week when I’m home in Los Angeles.

“Why on earth do you enjoy watching such things?”

The movies I watch do terrify me. But for those two hours, I’m thrust into a world where all my fears and anxieties are entirely cast away. Yes, I am really stressed about all the work I have to do tomorrow but at least I’m not getting chased down in the woods by a guy with a chain saw. That would really suck. As someone who is a lifelong anxiety sufferer, I think it’s a coping mechanism to pull me out of my own head. It is a practice of sitting in an extremely safe environment, being really scared, and when the movie is over, everything is ok. Which feels like a pretty direct parallel to the anxieties I deal with in real life. Fear can’t kill me.

I remember reading an article that detailed that 2020 was a time that Hollywood struggled in other genres, it was a “boom year” for the horror genre. Given the state of the world at that time, it didn’t surprise me. I know there are endless amounts of other ways to practice self-mediation the mind of public perception would be healthier. And if reading Colleen Hoover is your preferred form of escapism, I’m proud of you and also very envious.

Anyways… here are some of my favs.

Train to Busan, 2016

I will forever stand by the fact that Koreans know how to do horror better than anyone else. My greatest vice with American horror is many rely too heavily on jump scare tactics and fear. Which of course you expect and hope for going into a horror—what I’ve found with Korean horror is they do that and they prioritize character development. Which seems a bit counteractive when you expect characters to die off throughout the film. But at the end of the day, what is a story without feeling concern or empathy for the character whose journey you are witnessing? I ugly cried harder at the end of this movie than I have any other film.

The Shining, 1980

I don’t think one can discuss horror without discussing Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining.” Even as I write this the “bum.. bum… bum… bum” plays in my head. That variation of tone is called a semitone, and its utilized in many horror film tracks to evoke an unsettling feeling. Psycho, Jaws, and Netflix’s Squid Games use the same half-tone interval in their soundtracks—apparently it subconsciously prepares the audience to know something really bad is probably about to happen. I also consider this a psychological horror as you see the characters battle so much of their own internal demons throughout the film.

Babadook, 2014

Another film that does a great job of connecting you to the characters. Although the movie is about some paranormal creepy storybook goblin thing, it also showcases the terrors of childhood and of parenting. And it’s Australian. As you guys know, I love anything Australian.

The Scream Series, 1996 — ∞ probably

I’m not sure where my current career will lead me, and to be honest… I really don’t care but if anyone ever asks me my #1 career goal I will answer is to have a cameo in the opening scene of a Scream movie (a la Drew Barrymore). My favorite of the series is Scream 4 with Emma Roberts and Hayden Panettiere. Ah, the perils of female betrayal and women being terrible to each other. Been there! <3

Talk to Me, 2023

This 2022 movie scared the living daylights out of me. But with the excess amounts of slasher, exorcism and other stereotypical sub-genres, I deeply appreciated the creative plot of this.

US, 2019

This is my profession of love for Jordan Peele. This genre NEEDED Jordan Peele to raise the bar on modern horror and he has executed time and time again (Get Out, Nope). But this is my favorite of his works by far. It’s so unsettling but so perfectly crafted and I’ve rewatched it more that maybe any other movie except for Happy Feet.

Midsommar, 2019

My boyfriend and I originally met on a dating app, just after covid started. There were no bars or restaurants open, so our only option for a first date was takeout and a movie at his place. In hindsight, I still ask myself why I did this, but I made this poor dude who I’d known for truly less than an hour watch this film with me (I’d seen it before). And if you’ve seen this movie you’re probably thinking that he thought I was a weirdo, and that I probably traumatized him a little bit, and you would be absolutely correct. I scared him then and I scare him now. I guess I had to show him upfront what he was getting into. The director, Ari Aster, makes some phenomenal horror films. He also created Hereditary, which has a scene in it involving a telephone pole that once you have watched you will never unsee. They are creative, brilliant, and horrible.

The Others, 2001

One thing about me is I love a plot twist. I’ll say no more as to not spoil it but Nicole Kidman in this is so great.

Parasite, 2019

The 2019 Academy Award Winner for Best Picture. Does this count as horror? Maybe more of a thriller. But its definitely horrifying in its own right. I just adore Bong Joon-ho and this movie is a masterpiece.

The Conjuring, 2013

A haunted house, monitoring spirits, and a wild exorcism is not something we haven’t seen before but The Conjuring just did it best. They should’ve stopped after one, but don’t we all make that mistake?